The Boring World of Niels Bohr

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The espionage scandals in the news prompts us to revisit how physicists have been under surveillance by the US government, to sometimes hilarious results. During World War II, Niels Bohr (and his son) visited Washington D.C., where they were under secret surveillance. The following declassified report confirms the standard suspicion of quantum physics.

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I type here the relevant part of the report on Niels Bohr:

Both the father and son appear to be extremely absent-minded individuals, engrossed in themselves, and go about paying little attention to any external influences. As they did a great deal of walking, this Agent had occasion to spend considerable time behind them and observe that it was rare when either of them paid much attention to stop lights or signs, but proceeded on their way much the same as if they were walking in the woods. On one occasion, subjects proceeded across a busy intersection against the red light in a diagonal fashion, taking the longest route possible and one of greatest danger. The resourceful work of Agent Maiers in blocking out one half of the stream of automobile traffic with his car prevented their possibly incurring serious injury in this instance.

In conclusion, yes, quantum physicists are very dangerous, but to themselves.

FAQ: Fighting a Snake during the Dissertation Defense

This is the time of the year where many Ph.D. candidates are suffering from the pains of finishing up their dissertations, and preparing for their defense. An often overlooked part of the defense is the requirement of Defeating a Snake. For more information about this important component of the dissertation defense, go to this FAQ.

Q: Do I have to kill the snake?
A: University guidelines state that you have to “defeat” the snake. There are many ways to accomplish this.

Journal of Universal Rejection

Are you tired of getting every paper accepted in the best journals? Well, you should submit then to the Journal of Universal Rejection!

The founding principle of the Journal of Universal Rejection (JofUR) is rejection. Universal rejection. That is to say, all submissions, regardless of quality, will be rejected.

Pretty neat!

If they can make a law
Then I can break a law
If I can break a law
Will the law break me?
-Dropkick Murphys